The Sensitive Feelings of Adopted Children

The Sensitive Feelings of Adopted Children – Adoption of children is one way to be able to have complete family members, including children, mothers and even fathers. To get to know more about the figure of an adopted child, of course, you have to understand some of the following sensitive issues that are generally felt by them. Take a look, yes.

The Sensitive Feelings of Adopted Children

1. Feeling confused when it comes to family tree
When they grow up, they will know their status as adopted children. This status will then be questioned by them.

Adopted children will question where their family is, and what lineage they have. This is obviously because they never knew about his family tree.

Therefore, explain gently and understandingly about their family, yes. Explain to them that the people around them are also their family.

2. Uncomfortable with adoption status
No one wants to be made fun of with the status of an adopted child or adopted child. Unfortunately, this happens a lot in society.

Many end up looking down on them, because they are considered only as adopted children. This will obviously cause discomfort for them.

Give an understanding that their existence is also special, just like other children who grow up in the world.

3. Questioning the reason for not having a biological family
No child wants to be separated from their biological family. However, sometimes, the situation is not favorable so that many children are forced to separate from their biological parents.

As they get older, later they will ask about their biological family. They will also be confused why they don’t have a biological family like other children. If this is the case, try to explain honestly and understandingly, okay? It will take time, but slowly he will understand.

Also Read :Things Not to Say to Adopted Children

4. Negative stigma from adopted children
In some communities, it turns out that there is still a negative stigma attached to adopted children. They are often underestimated by many people.

This will then become a sensitive feeling that most adopted children have. They will feel unwanted because of their existence, even though it is only a stigma.

5. Saddened if there is a pattern of learning that seems to distinguish
In some parents who have wrong parenting, they will usually distinguish between biological children and adopted children. They will usually feel a lot of disappointment over it.

This is one of the things that need to be considered by parents during the process of educating their children. Don’t be impressed by the difference, because it will only leave sadness in the child’s heart.

Things Not to Say to Adopted Children

Things Not to Say to Adopted Children – Adopting a child is not easy, there are many risks that must be shared. Not only that, there are some things that should not be said to adopted children. Here’s the review

Even though it’s obvious, don’t ask if he’s adopted

Maybe from the outside it is already visible, for example, the child has different skin color, hair color, or facial characteristics with his parents. But you still can’t ask if he’s adopted or not. Asking someone’s birth history is as rude as asking someone’s income or financial life.

Things Not to Say to Adopted Children

No, He’s Not “Lucky” To Have Been Adopted

Whatever the reason behind the child being adopted, saying things like “you’re lucky to have been adopted” is simply unfair. It sounds like you are cursing the child’s past life before he was adopted. Adopted children certainly feel different from their friends, and do not feel lucky compared to their friends who live with their biological parents.

He Has Real Parents

In this case, the so-called real parents are no longer related by blood. But the real parents are the parents who raise the child, change diapers, provide for all his needs, care for and love him.

Finding his biological family is his personal choice

Although it may be difficult to do, considering that there are many orphans whose birth parents are not known, he has the right to make a choice, whether to look for his biological parents or not. It became his personal choice, and perhaps a secret, which should not be influenced by others.

Also Read :How to Deal with Parents When Adopting Children

Don’t assume that the problem he’s having is because he’s an adopted child

He’s Depressed – is it because he’s adopted? He’s angry with his parents – is it because he’s adopted? Her marriage is in trouble – is it because she’s adopted? Maybe those are some examples of the problems he is experiencing that you can relate to his status as an adopted child. So many things can trigger stress or trouble in a person’s life, and being adopted is not the main thing that causes him or her problems.

He Doesn’t Need Your Sympathy

Being an adopted child is certainly different from the life of a child who lives with his biological parents. But that doesn’t mean they aren’t happy. Adopted children who are raised responsibly by their foster parents certainly get the happiness and love that they deserve. Even not only from his parents, but from his family or friends. You don’t always have to feel sorry for an adopted child.

How to Deal with Parents When Adopting Children

How to Deal with Parents When Adopting Children – In adopting a child, of course there are consequences that must be faced and borne in the future. Adoption is an option when we want to have a child but we can’t have one.

Adopting a child is a big decision that requires a long commitment. Not only from husband and wife, extended families usually also feel they have an interest in this matter.
How should you behave when you experience this?

How to Deal with Parents When Adopting Children

According to the author of When I Was Adopted, Nouf Zahra Anastasia and child and adolescent psychologist Vera Itabiliana Hadiwidjojo, S.Psi, the approval of the extended family in adoption is indeed something that needs to be discussed.
According to Nouf, who is usually called Anas, socialization to extended families is necessary because the adoption plan does not need to be hidden from family, relatives or neighbors.
“The important thing is to be socialized and informed about the adoption plan. There is a precondition that the extended family knows and supports our intentions, which we think is a good rule. Because we were honest from the start,” said Anas.

Anas and her husband have been raising their adopted son for 10 years. They used to bring the baby home from the orphanage when he was 11 months old. Because he found little information about child adoption, Anas often consulted a psychologist.

Also Read : Indonesian Artists Who Adopt Children

You also need to know, according to the Regulation of the Minister of Social Affairs of the Republic of Indonesia Number 110/HUK/2009 concerning Requirements for Adoption of Children, approval from representatives of extended families is indeed required.
One of the paragraphs of Article 21 states that a letter of permission from a biological parent, legal guardian or relative on stamped paper is an administrative requirement for prospective adoptive parents.
However, the approval of the entire extended family is not required. Because, you and your partner will raise the child.

According to Vera, the support from representatives of large families who will be the main support system in raising children is enough. For example, prospective grandparents of adopted children or your brothers and sisters or husband.
“Just decide who will be the main support system. Because, this is a decision and commitment of us as parents,” explained Vera.
That way, Vera is sure that the child adoption process can go well and there is no need to worry, let alone cover it up.

Indonesian Artists Who Adopt Children

Indonesian Artists Who Adopt Children – Pig some artists, adopting a child is not a big burden. Adoption of children for some artists even become a joy when they can not have children in their lives. Here are some Indonesian artists who have adopted children

1. Anjasmara and Dian Nitami

Artist couple Anjasmara and Dian Nitami decided to adopt 3 children. It is known, they adopted children long before they had children.

The adopted children are Amanda Annette Syariff, Luther Putra Syariff, and Yopi Ramdani. Even though they were finally blessed with biological children, both Anjasmara and Dian Nitami never differentiated their affections.

Indonesian Artists Who Adopt Children

2. Goddess of peach

Famous Indonesian dangdut singer, Dewi Perssik adopted a son in 2007. At that time, his son, Felice Gabriel, was only 2 weeks old.

Gabriel also grew up with a full outpouring of affection and love. Both from his adoptive mother who is more familiarly called as Depe, as well as her husband Angga Wijaya.

Despite having a lot of work, Depe always takes the time to chat with his only child, who is now a teenager.

Also Read :Reasons for Adopting a Child

3. Celine Evangelista

Long before marrying actor Stefan William, artist Celine Evangelista had adopted a child. The girl, named Jemima Guri Clementine Sompie.

Although in the end Celine had a child from her previous marriage with Dirly ‘Idol’ and was blessed with 2 sons with Stefan, but the affection and love given to Jemima remained the same as a biological child.

Until now, Celine’s family lives happily with their four children.

4. Ussy Sulistiawaty

It is known, Ussy Sulistiawaty had adopted a child before deciding to marry in 2005. The child he adopted was a girl and was named Nur Amalia Putri.

Ussy looks very fond of the princess, even though he was hit by unpleasant news. It was reported that she was pregnant out of wedlock because she often visited a mother and child hospital before officially marrying Yusuf Sugianto.

In fact, Ussy was checking the health condition of her adopted son who was still a baby at that time. From his first marriage, Ussy was blessed with a child named Syafa Al Zahra who was born on April 10, 2006.

After his marriage ended, Ussy married MC and actor Andhika Pratama. Now, their family is even more complete with the presence of Shakeela Eleanor Ameera, Sheva Elmira Lorrenia, and Sakalingga Ibra Pratama.

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Reasons for Adopting a Child

Reasons for Adopting a Child – For couples who have been married for a long time, they really crave a child in the middle of their household. But what can they do if they have not been given gifts by God. Most of them decide to adopt children. Adoption is a process where parents bear the rights of children who are not the result of conception. Here are the reasons parents adopt children

Interestingly, not all couples who adopt children are infertile in the womb. Some of them do it simply because they love children, or they want to serve society through adoption. Let’s take a look at some of the conventional reasons that people adopt children.

1. Likes children
While it may sound a little unrealistic, there are many couples who adopt children because of their love for children.

2. Have two or more children but of the same sex
If a couple already has two sons, they may want a daughter or vice versa. They are safer if they adopt girls directly.

3. Couples with one child
Sometimes there is a mother who is traumatized by pregnancy which makes her reluctant to have another child naturally and chooses to adopt a child as a solution.

Also Read :Know the Procedure for Adopting Children

4. Busy with work
In most developed countries, many mothers are reluctant to go through the labor process because of the demands of work and eventually they choose to adopt children.

Infertility is a major reason for parents to seek out unrelated children for adoption. There are also those who adopt children in order to have biological children, the general term is as an inducement.

There are many other reasons behind the adoption, including the motivation of religious or philosophical beliefs, to avoid contributing to overpopulation, the belief that it will be more responsible to care for other people’s children than their own children, to ensure that hereditary diseases are not passed down, and problems health related to pregnancy and the baby.

Although there are various possible reasons, the main reasons for adoption by people aged 40-44 years are impaired fertility and childlessness.

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Know the Procedure for Adopting Children

Know the Procedure for Adopting Children – In this world there are still many parents who are waiting for their children. However, there are some parents who cannot have children. One way is to adopt children from the best orphanages. To be able to adopt a child, parents must carry out the procedures properly and correctly that have been set by the government. The established procedures are useful as protection for children in the future. Here are the requirements and procedures to be able to adopt a child

Child Adoption Terms

The requirements for adopting a child legally are based on the Decree of the Minister of Social Affairs of the Republic of Indonesia No. 41/HUK/Kep/VII/1984, regarding the Implementation Guidelines for Licensing Child Adoption, namely:

First, the couple must be married with a minimum age of 25 years and a maximum of 45 years.

Second, at least the couple who will adopt a child have been married for 5 years at the time of submission. The couple must submit a written document containing information, such as: it is not possible to have biological children from an expert doctor, have no children, have one biological child, or only have an adopted child, but have no biological child.

Third, must have an established financial and social condition by submitting a certificate from the spouse’s country of origin. Fourth, obtain written approval from the government of the applicant’s country of origin (applies to spouses who are not Indonesian citizens).

Fifth, a certificate of good behavior from the police. a doctor’s certificate stating that the couple is physically and mentally healthy. Sixth, having lived for at least three years in Indonesia as evidenced by a certificate from an authorized official (applies to spouses who are not Indonesian citizens).

Seventh, have cared for and nurtured the child to be adopted for at least six months for children under five, and one year for children aged 3-5 years. Eighth, a written statement stating that the appointment is solely for the interests and welfare of the child concerned. Ninth, child adoption does not only apply to married couples, but is also allowed for single women or men as long as they have a strong motivation to raise children.

Also Read : Conditions for Adopting a Child

The official procedure for adopting a child

The official procedures for adopting a child include:

First, submit a letter of application to the court in the area where the prospective adopted child lives. The government has appointed two foundations to serve the adoption process, namely the Sayap Ibu Foundation (Jakarta) and the Matahari Terbit Foundation (Surabaya).

Second, officers from the social service will check. Starting from economic conditions, place of residence, acceptance from prospective adoptive siblings (if you already have children), social interactions, mental conditions, and others. Financial checks are carried out to determine permanent employment and adequate income. For foreigners, there must be approval/permission to adopt an Indonesian baby from the competent authority of the country of origin.

Third, prospective parents and adopted children are given time to get to know each other and interact. The court will allow bringing the child to stay for 6-12 months, under the supervision of social services.

Fourth, undergo a trial by presenting at least two witnesses.

Fifth, the application is approved or rejected. If approved, a decision letter from a court with legal force will be issued. Sixth, it is registered with the civil registry office.

Conditions for Adopting a Child

Conditions for Adopting a Child

Conditions for Adopting a Child – After going through several stages of the screening process, we are finally able to perfect the articles we have collected with data from reliable sources regarding the requirements for adopting a child.

Before adopting a child, there are several conditions that must be met. The requirements include:

  1. Physically and mentally healthy
  2. Minimum age 30 years and maximum 50 years
  3. The religion is the same as the religion of the adopted child candidate
  4. Proven to have good behavior and have never been convicted of a crime
  5. Have been married for at least 5 years
  6. Not a same-sex couple
  7. Do not or do not have children or only have one child
  8. Have a capable economic and social situation
  9. Get the child’s consent and written permission from the child’s parent or guardian
  10. Make a written statement that adoption is carried out in the best interests of the child, his welfare and protection
  11. There are social reports from local social workers
  12. Has cared for a prospective adopted child for at least 6 months after being given a custody permit
  13. Get permission from the Minister and / or the head of a social agency.

Apart from parents, prospective adopted children must also meet the existing requirements before being adopted. Several conditions that must be fulfilled by the prospective adopted child, namely:

  1. Not yet 18 years old which are divided into three priorities, where children who are not yet 6 years old are the top priority, children aged 6-12 years are adopted as long as there are sudden reasons, and children aged 12-18 years are adopted as long as the child requires special protection.
  2. Abandoned or neglected children
  3. Children are in family care or in childcare institutions
  4. Children need protection.

If the child’s origin is not known, then their religion can be adjusted to the religion of the majority of the local population. After you and your prospective adopted child have met all of these requirements, then you can follow the procedures set by the government for adopting a child.

Also Read: International Adoption of US Parents is Decreasing

How to adopt a child

The steps that must be taken in adopting a child, namely submitting an application to the regional court where the prospective child is. Social service officers will visit your home with your spouse to evaluate the economic, social, psychological and financial conditions. If deemed appropriate, you and your partner will get permission based on the Temporary Custody Permit to bring the prospective adopted child to live together for 6-12 months. Parents and prospective children will also be supervised and guided by Social Service Officers during that time. Furthermore, you and your partner as prospective parents will undergo a child adoption trial with at least two witnesses who know and understand your condition. Then, a decision will be determined whether the child adoption application you submitted is approved or rejected. If the application is approved, a legally binding decision will be issued from the court to be registered in the civil registry. However, if the application is rejected, then the child will be returned to the social institution where he came from. The process of adopting a child through the official channel does not require a fee, but the whole process is quite long, up to approximately two years. However, the legal status that is pocketed will certainly guarantee the safety of both the child and the family. It should be noted that a person can adopt a child at most two times, with a minimum interval of two years. If you are going to adopt twins, then adoption can be done at the same time with the twins. Adoption by a single parent is allowed, but can only be done after obtaining permission from the Minister. Permission granting will be delegated to the head of the social agency in the province. In order to get clearer and more complete information regarding child adoption, it is better if you visit the nearest social agency information service center. Discuss various things about the requirements and the series of child adoption processes with the existing officers.

International Adoption of US Parents is Decreasing

International Adoption of US Parents is Decreasing

International Adoption of US Parents is Decreasing – After going through several stages of the screening process, we are finally able to enhance the article we have collected with data from reliable sources that discuss the decline in the percentage of international adoption of US parents.

The US State Department said the number of foreign children adopted by US parents fell by more than 12 percent, last year.

The State Department report, released Friday (24/3) and includes data from the 2017 fiscal year, attributed the decline in adoption to changes in two countries: China and the Democratic Republic of Congo. The report says the countries are making legal changes that make it more difficult for international adoption.

The report shows 4,714 adoptions from abroad in fiscal 2017, down from 5,372 in 2016 and almost 80 percent below a high of 22,884 in 2004.

The report said China still made up the largest number of origins of adopted children internationally, 1,905 although it was down nearly 15 percent from 2016.

Also Read:African Adoption Rates are Increasing

China changed its domestic laws related to governance of nongovernmental organizations, and although those changes were not specifically targeted at adoption, the laws negatively affected adoption agencies, the report said.

The State Department says 98 percent of interstate adoptions from China involve children with special needs. The State Department said that US officials had spoken with their Chinese counterparts to try to resolve the issue.

Adoption in Congo fell from 359 in 2016 to just four in 2017 as the Congolese government stopped international adoption over fraud fears.

There were no adoptions from Russia for the third year in a row after Russia imposed a US adoption ban that took effect in 2014.

US parents adopted children from 42 countries in 2017. After China, the largest number of adopted children came from Ethiopia, followed by South Korea, Haiti, India, Ukraine, Colombia and Nigeria.

African Adoption Rates are Increasing

African Adoption Rates are Increasing – In Africa there are many children who are neglected, either because of the shortage that occurs in the country to because people love the uniqueness of these African children.
One report said the number of African children adopted by foreign nationals from other continents has increased dramatically.

Based on the findings of the African Children’s Policy Forum (ACPF) in the last eight years, international adoption has risen by nearly 400%.

“Africa is now a new frontier for adoption between countries,” said the group based in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia.

But many African countries do not have strict regulations to protect adopted children.

The majority of orphans adopted from Africa have at least one living parent and many of them have been sold by their own parents, the group said.

More than 41,000 African children have been adopted and taken out of their home countries since 2004, says the ACPF report.

More than two-thirds of that number in 2009 and 2010 were adopted from Ethiopia, which is now one of the countries with the highest number of adopters apart from China.
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“The interests of children are threatened when they are adopted between countries and adoption can become a large, lucrative industry with children as a commodity,” said the Africa Children’s Policy Forum report.

The group’s director, David Mugawe, said adoption in some parts of Africa had become a business.

“There is an element where adoption is now commercial. And this is a lucrative industry for some orphanages, and they are promoting adoption just to support the orphanage,” Mugawe told the BBC.

He said large sums of money were sometimes paid to prospective parents.

“There is a woman who works with the US Embassy in Uganda and she cites figures between $ 10,000 and $ 30,000,” Mugawe said.

Also Read :What Do You Know About Father’s Rights In Adoption At S.C

According to the ACPF, Ethiopia has more than 70 adoption agencies, including 15 that only refer children to families in the United States.

Most of the African children go to the US. In 2010 alone, more than 11,000 children from 100 countries were adopted by American parents.

International adoption is also popular in Nigeria, Congo, South Africa, Mali, Ghana, Ivory Coast, Morocco, Uganda and Burkina Faso.

People who want to adopt children are now turning to Africa because of changing patterns and laws in other countries that have resulted in a reduced number of children who can be adopted.

Countries such as China, South Korea, Guetamala, Russia, Romania and Ukraine have tightened their eligibility regulations for prospective foster parents and closed or restricted adoptions from abroad.

A Mother Finds 2 Biologically Relative Young Adopted Children

A-Mother-Finds-2-Biologically-Relative-Young-Adopted-Children

A Mother Finds 2 Biologically Relative Young Adopted Children – Grayson, 2, and Hannah, 1, are siblings by adoption, but after a long journey to unravel the mystery of their birth, their Colorado mother discovers that they are siblings too. She explained growing up in Alabama, she always imagined herself being a mother. But when she had trouble conceiving during her marriage, then going through a divorce in her early 30s, she decided to become a foster parent.

Her application was finalized on Mother’s Day 2016, and she opened her doors to several short-term placements.

When her caseworker asked if she was interested in fostering to adopt a baby boy born with drug exposure, she made a quick decision to pick him up from the hospital just hours later.

“I fell in love the moment I saw him and held him in my arms,” she explained. “Welcoming a brand new baby boy into my home with less than a day’s notice was scary but the best I have ever chosen.”

She said she was told by adoption workers that the boy’s birth mom left the hospital shortly after giving birth and left false information behind so she could never be found.

Page named the newborn Grayson, and finalized his adoption on May 25, 2017.

“He is beautiful inside and out,” Page said. “He attracts people to him everywhere we go with his sweet smile and calm nature.”

She took a break from fostering for several months as she and Grayson adjusted to their new life together, but when a caseworker called her once again out of the blue months later with another newborn, Page felt a strange calling to agree to take on another baby.

The days-old girl, named Hannah, was born in the same hospital as Grayson, with the same drug exposure and medical complications. Even though the listed name for Grayson’s biological mother didn’t lead to anyone, the name listed for the baby girl was the same, as was the mother’s date of birth.

“I started having strong suspicions that Grayson had siblings the day I accepted the baby girl into my home,” she explained. “I knew something was special about this little girl and that she might be a link to his family that we thought we would never know when I adopted him less than two weeks before.”

Hannah’s mother was interested in visits, and while Page held back information about her son Grayson, an initial conversation with the birth mother seemed to fill in additional pieces of the puzzle.

A DNA test done between Grayson and Hannah ultimately revealed the pair are biologically siblings.

“I was devastated for Grayson that he had just been left at the hospital with no information about his family and who he was,” Page said. “To have this little girl help us unravel huge pieces of the puzzle about his life and change his story forever was a huge blessing.”

She said it was even more special that they were placed in the same home, as she understands the significance of understanding one’s birth story.

“The love between them is amazing and they deserved to stay together,” Page said. “I felt God clearly brought them together for a reason despite all the odds that could have kept them apart forever.”

Page is now preparing to adopt their 5-month-old younger sibling this year.